Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Randomize
