Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
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