If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Randomize
