why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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