The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
I could fuck to npr.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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