YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Randomize