My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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