i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
