The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
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