So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
