so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Life is so much better after having sex.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Randomize
