weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Randomize
