You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
That's how pantless uber rides happen
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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