I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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