return my video game
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Randomize
