Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
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