He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
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