Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
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