if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Randomize
