I like my sex mixed with concussions.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
My liver just had a heart attack.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
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