Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize