I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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