he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
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