So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize