i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
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