yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Randomize
