Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
