I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
