wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
