Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
