Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
