I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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