"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
