16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
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