Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
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