I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
