She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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