It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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