you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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