it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
We had to coat check the pizza.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
