Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
