Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
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Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
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Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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