So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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