Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Randomize
