all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
Randomize
