Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
