Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Randomize
