Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
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