I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize