i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
