well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
Actions speak louder than pants.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
The adults are the big ones right?
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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