you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Randomize
