Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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