Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Randomize
