paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
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