I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Randomize
