He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
