Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Randomize
