i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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