You're completely useless in the revolution.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
