Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
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