it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
