I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize