Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
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