i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
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