If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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