I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
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