.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
