Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
