are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
I'm getting married
To pizza
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
I am mentally ready for anal.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
